So the event was RSVP mandatory; no walk ins. The embassy needed my name, written in both English and Hangul, nationality, and school or workplace. They responded pretty quickly with a confirmation email both in English and Korean. Always fun to see how US offices in other countries work. They also had an extremely convenient map which said the embassy center was only 200 meters from the subway station. Little did I know that that map was fucking bullshit. But, since I am the son of Douglas Lyons, I left with plenty of time to get lost.
The subway stop was not alien to me; it is the same stop of the War Memorial of Korea. What was alien to me was walking in the other direction. The map said walk straight and it will be on your right in 200 meters. 2 meters is 2 football fields, give or take a few feet. The only thing 200 meters down the street was an office that had a notary that did, "Interracial Marriages." It didn't occur to me that there would be special paperwork or bureaucracy for citizens of different countries getting married.It made me think of Loving Vs. Virginia, the most fitting name for the supreme court case (look it up). There were also a ton of stores selling huge paintings of galloping horses. It was really weird, not only because of the horse paintings, but the sheer size of them. They were the size of Homecoming banners, the ones football teams run through. One of the last things I'd expect in this neighborhood. But hey, I've seen a dude taking a shit on a street-corner in Manhattan while a supermodel walked by. Each city's got it's weird shit.
I looked at the map again and started scanning for landmarks. I didn't see the USO hall, but I did see the enormous sign that said "Hotel" written in Hangul. I was headed in the right direction. I kept walking until the shops turned into 10' foot high brick wall with concertina wire on top. I assumed I was heading to some important area.
Indeed I was. Pretty soon I saw a huge USO logo on a building and knew I was practically across the street. But there was no break in the wall. Woof. I thought I was gonna have to find a security gate and try to explain to the guard that I needed to get inside, but there was indeed a door in the wall. It had the same awning as the guard stands so I didn't see it at first.
I headed in the door with my passport out and proceeded to my security check. I emptied my pockets, went through the metal detector, and was then told to turn my phone off. Not too tough, I'd done the same thing about 3 months ago in JFK.
The inside of the American center was a whole lot like a tiny little library. There were books in English and Korean, as well as posters talking about US culture, government and customs. I didn't read it because I can't read Korean, but there were sports and Thanksgiving. Seems pretty accurate. There were chairs set up in the library's main desk area, it was pretty evident there were desks that used to live there because of all the desks in the corner.
As I sat down droves of people started filing in. What surprised me most was that I was the only white person there. The rest of the people were Korean. This surprised me because I figured that the US embassy event for youth would primarily attract Army brats, young expat English teachers, or random Americans living in Seoul. Turns out the only people in Seoul interested in this discussion were about 55 high school kids and me.
I knew they were high school kids for two reasons. First, about 7 of them had those giant Barron's SAT Prep books that nearly gave me a Vietnam flashback to Scarsdale High. I didn't even get one and those things are still associated with some of my finest memories of watching people sit on the side of the gym and talk about vocabulary. Good times. Second, about 90% of them were wearing school uniforms of one form or another. The best were the mustard yellow sweater vests with brown writing. They looked pretty awful. Not to mention it was like, 72 out, so those kids must have been dying in those sweater vests.
I was sitting in the hall when I saw the General's entourage arrive: A Colonel, Major, Sergeant of some kind, and a KATUSA soldier. It's good to be the king. I knew the General couldn't be too far behind, and soon enough he arrived with his panel. He sat at the front with the panel and moderator around him. The panel consisted of 4 international affairs students from different Korean universities, all in college, and all but one were female.
The forum started off with the Brigadier General Paul C. Hurley, Jr., doing a quick introduction of himself. I knew this presentation was going to be amazing when he said he attended, "The greatest institution of higher learning in the free world, Texas A&M." I'm not even an A&M fan, it's just the way he said it. He wasn't going to be a stuffed uniform, this guy was going to be one great speaker. Boy was I right. He'd been in the Army for 27 years which astounded the Koreans, but what astounded them more was the fact that he had a wife and kids (More on that later). He talked about previous command positions, how he originally never intended to be a career officer, and about his time here in Korea. Then the panel asked their questions.
The first question was what makes the US RoK alliance the so called "Greatest alliance on earth?" The General answered with a smile, "Because it is." Needless to say, I got some pretty huge chills. He then went over why the alliance was so strong. He said it all began with the shared sacrifice in the Korean war. Then he said the physical security the US provided after the war begat the financial and economic security of Korea, as one cannot exist without the other. He also mentioned something that I did not know, US Forces Korea is a joint command: the US and RoK armies have a combined shared HQ and command structure. There are RoK officers and US officers serving as equals, at every single level except for absolute leadership (The USA has the highest ranking official in the command as of now, but that's scheduled to change in 2015.) He also said, on a lighter note, that there is so much connection between our nations on a personal level. He said he knows of a large number of marriages between Americans and Koreans and the large number of Korean immigrants living in America. He then asked the students to raise their hands if they had a relative living in the USA. Almost all the students did. It's times like that when I especially appreciate America's diversity.
Then he made his most important point. He talked about the KATUSA program, Korean Augmentation To the United States Army. Koreans serve under the US command in the US Army. They functionally are US soldiers put into the care of US officers, into the company of US soldiers, and under the jurisdiction of US military codes. They wear our uniforms, live on US bases and get all the equipment of US soldiers. He said the program was unique and that it is so significant because, "You [Koreans] put your greatest treasure, your children, your sons, into the care of the United States where you expect them to be treated like our own sons." That's heavy. With a neighbor as insane as North Korea, leaving your sons in the company of what amounts to strangers is no small step for Korean families. Nevertheless, Koreans take that leap because of how close our nations are. Damn.
Then the panel asked some questions about changes in command and the North. Pretty standard responses regarding military policy and politics. The discussion was fairly political and dry by my standards, but the General spoke with utmost confidence in US and RoK forces. He discussed how the RoK forces were EXTREMELY capable thanks to joint military exercises with both nations, and how well prepared our nations are for any volatile action from the Northern Neighbors. He made small jokes throughout which got my attention, but I don't remember them. Just know that he's a really good speaker.
Then they asked a question about cultural exchanges between US and RoK troops. This made him laugh and he told a great story about a program that runs at an Army garrison outside of Seoul. There is a university in the same town as the base, and many families on base have high school or college students of their own, so when terms are over all those kids are kind of hanging around base without much to do. They set up a cultural exchange program for the students where the children of US forces would celebrate holidays with Korean families and Korean students would spend holidays with the families of US forces. The most shocking part was that the Koreans had no idea that US soldiers really had families or kids or wives or husbands. This took me by surprise. In America all we do is think of reuniting our troops with their families and loved ones. Hell, we do that shit at sporting events just to make entire stadiums weep. There are youtube compilations of these. I guess not so much in Korea. I suppose when most young Korean men serve in the middle of their time in university they don't have to worry about children as much. I suppose they have families and girlfriends who miss them as well. It's just different. I guess it's the droves of single soldiers over here that give off that impression. Regardless, it's kind of cool when you surprise someone with knowledge.
Then came the hard hitting questions so-to-speak. By hard hitting I mean the ones with the most controversial topics. However, the General made these questions look like Trivial Pursuit Jr. history questions. Not only were his answers great, the truth actually shocked many Koreans. Firstly, he was asked about a legal jurisdiction question regarding US troops in Korea. Specifically mentioned was a shooting involving US soldiers and a BB gun. The question was asking whether the US having special jurisdiction was an unfair way to make sure US troops were not punished for their actions. The Generals first response was, "That guy with the BB gun, did you know he's sitting in a Korean prison right now as we speak?" The audience all shook their heads and some said "Really?" in Korean. That got them all curious. The General then talked about the percentage of US soldiers who actually got in trouble in Korea. "Actually" was a word I took with a grain of salt, there are all different kinds of getting into trouble. Getting blasted and being thrown in an MP drunk tank is one thing, being arrested for shooting Koreans is another. I know one is for sure counted, but the other... maybe not. Regardless, the way Korean media portrays US soldiers is just a really drunk disruptive bunch. The General mentioned that yes, the overwhelming majority of times there is a legal incident, alcohol was involved. This is sad, but not unexpected. He then personally mentioned Soju, which was really funny and got a lot of the audience laughing, but then said that alcohol abuse was and is a problem everywhere. That kind of shut us up. He asked how many people in the room had ever tried Soju, the Korean liquor. I raised my hand, as did about half the room. He said that most Americans have never tried Soju. The crowd was stunned. Imagine a college kid who's never had Natty Lite (His name is Thom). The General then said that the 20% ABV was deceptive and that it led to many young US soldiers getting blackout drunk quicker than expected and making stupid mistakes. If you've ever been out on a busy Korean street at night, I assure you, anybody with two working eyes could make this observation. But it's kind of different when you're dealing with an entire base full of young foreigners.
The next hard hitting question was about an Agent Orange dump-site under a US base on Korean soil, a pretty serious thing. Agent Orange was a defoliant used during Vietnam that was incredibly toxic and does unspeakable things to people. The General's response was one sentence. "Those allegations were proven false." I laughed out loud. The panelist had such a huge buildup to the question because she never saw the follow up to the massive Korean media witch hunt. Again, this came down to the media never reporting good news but only reporting the shitty yet exciting news. Papers gotta sell after all. The General went on to describe the lengths of the investigation, from tracking down and interviewing every single US and RoK soldier stationed on that base from Vietnam to the alleged date of the drums' secret removal from their underground storage. Not one soul knew of any Agent Orange. Then the Army let Korean teams analyze the soil and water all around the base. Not a trace of Agent Orange. The General knew his way around a tough question, but more impressively, he knew his way around the facts. He knew so much about these issues it made me wonder what else one has to know in order to become a General, not to mention the sheer wit.
After the panel had finished up their questions he opened up the floor to questions from the audience. The first question was interesting and deceptively simple. It was, "With US and RoK forces under a joint command, are there ever any doctrinal or policy conflicts between the militaries?" The General's response addressed that yes, each fighting force is an individual entity, yet each military has a very similar set of core values and ideology and that since both forces work so closely their policies and decisions produce very little conflict. This can probably be attributed to the fact that the US helped rebuild Korea and helped oversee its military since after the war. It only seems natural that we helped set up the RoK military partly in our image, and for this reason we get along well when it comes do addressing problems.
The next question was out of the blue and pretty forcefully worded, and actually the only time the General seemed flustered. A Korean guy in the front row asked why no recycling was done at Camp Casey and that it should be done because the Koreans were hosting us and that the US had no right to pollute Korean soil. The General said that to the best of his knowledge, all us bases recycled. Hell, he said he'd been yelled at for not recycling by a subordinate. The Korean man said that this was false, that he was a KATUSA soldier stationed at Camp Casey and that the trash was not separated. By now the Korean guy seemed pretty confident that he had the General backed into a corner. It sure looked that way to me. The General finally dodged the question and saved face by saying that on all the bases he'd been on, he knew recycling occurred and trash was separated. Then a voice from the back said, "Excuse me, Sir, but I can answer that question." It was the Major in the General's PR team. The big DSLR camera made it pretty clear that he was the photographer for the day. "Sir, all waste at Camp Casey is outsourced, recycling and trash separation are not done in-house." The General's face lit up with a smile and said, "There's you're answer. Thanks for throwing me a lifeline on that one, Major." Lots of the Koreans didn't understand that idiomatic expression, but I did and laughed.
There were a few more standard questions with short answers, like "The Korean government does the KATUSA lottery, the US Army doesn't pick people," or, "I don't know what's going to happen with the current area taken up by the Yongsan Base after it closes down." Then one girl asked what the General's thoughts on a US congresswoman who suggested that the USA pull out of Korea in order to keep North Korea calm. The General responded with a big smile and said, "How'd that work out in the 50s?" I laughed REALLY hard at that, but it took most of the Koreans about 3 seconds to get the joke, so it was me, the officers behind me, and the embassy moderator giggling like idiots while the Koreans let the humor sink in. Whatever, it was hilarious. The General said that that tactic wouldn't work, if the RoK wanted US forces out, we could and would leave as soon as possible. He also said appeasement was not going to work for such an unstable northern neighbor. That was great final question.
Then it was picture time. Each high school wanted their own picture with the General, so these crowds of about 15 Korean students would crowd around him doing peace signs and some K-Pop hand gestures where girls touch their face. The Major was taking some official pictures of the scene, but Korean kids kept handing him smartphones. I asked the Major if he wanted me to hold his big camera, and he gladly handed it to me. So I held this huge camera while the Major swapped through about 5 different Samsung Galaxies, but each time the kids kept changing hand signs. I told him to do the peace signs and he laughed. Day: Made. After the hordes of people, he finally looked at me and said, "I'm already late for my meeting, one more picture."
I looked at the map again and started scanning for landmarks. I didn't see the USO hall, but I did see the enormous sign that said "Hotel" written in Hangul. I was headed in the right direction. I kept walking until the shops turned into 10' foot high brick wall with concertina wire on top. I assumed I was heading to some important area.
Indeed I was. Pretty soon I saw a huge USO logo on a building and knew I was practically across the street. But there was no break in the wall. Woof. I thought I was gonna have to find a security gate and try to explain to the guard that I needed to get inside, but there was indeed a door in the wall. It had the same awning as the guard stands so I didn't see it at first.
I headed in the door with my passport out and proceeded to my security check. I emptied my pockets, went through the metal detector, and was then told to turn my phone off. Not too tough, I'd done the same thing about 3 months ago in JFK.
The inside of the American center was a whole lot like a tiny little library. There were books in English and Korean, as well as posters talking about US culture, government and customs. I didn't read it because I can't read Korean, but there were sports and Thanksgiving. Seems pretty accurate. There were chairs set up in the library's main desk area, it was pretty evident there were desks that used to live there because of all the desks in the corner.
As I sat down droves of people started filing in. What surprised me most was that I was the only white person there. The rest of the people were Korean. This surprised me because I figured that the US embassy event for youth would primarily attract Army brats, young expat English teachers, or random Americans living in Seoul. Turns out the only people in Seoul interested in this discussion were about 55 high school kids and me.
I knew they were high school kids for two reasons. First, about 7 of them had those giant Barron's SAT Prep books that nearly gave me a Vietnam flashback to Scarsdale High. I didn't even get one and those things are still associated with some of my finest memories of watching people sit on the side of the gym and talk about vocabulary. Good times. Second, about 90% of them were wearing school uniforms of one form or another. The best were the mustard yellow sweater vests with brown writing. They looked pretty awful. Not to mention it was like, 72 out, so those kids must have been dying in those sweater vests.
I was sitting in the hall when I saw the General's entourage arrive: A Colonel, Major, Sergeant of some kind, and a KATUSA soldier. It's good to be the king. I knew the General couldn't be too far behind, and soon enough he arrived with his panel. He sat at the front with the panel and moderator around him. The panel consisted of 4 international affairs students from different Korean universities, all in college, and all but one were female.
The forum started off with the Brigadier General Paul C. Hurley, Jr., doing a quick introduction of himself. I knew this presentation was going to be amazing when he said he attended, "The greatest institution of higher learning in the free world, Texas A&M." I'm not even an A&M fan, it's just the way he said it. He wasn't going to be a stuffed uniform, this guy was going to be one great speaker. Boy was I right. He'd been in the Army for 27 years which astounded the Koreans, but what astounded them more was the fact that he had a wife and kids (More on that later). He talked about previous command positions, how he originally never intended to be a career officer, and about his time here in Korea. Then the panel asked their questions.
The first question was what makes the US RoK alliance the so called "Greatest alliance on earth?" The General answered with a smile, "Because it is." Needless to say, I got some pretty huge chills. He then went over why the alliance was so strong. He said it all began with the shared sacrifice in the Korean war. Then he said the physical security the US provided after the war begat the financial and economic security of Korea, as one cannot exist without the other. He also mentioned something that I did not know, US Forces Korea is a joint command: the US and RoK armies have a combined shared HQ and command structure. There are RoK officers and US officers serving as equals, at every single level except for absolute leadership (The USA has the highest ranking official in the command as of now, but that's scheduled to change in 2015.) He also said, on a lighter note, that there is so much connection between our nations on a personal level. He said he knows of a large number of marriages between Americans and Koreans and the large number of Korean immigrants living in America. He then asked the students to raise their hands if they had a relative living in the USA. Almost all the students did. It's times like that when I especially appreciate America's diversity.
Then he made his most important point. He talked about the KATUSA program, Korean Augmentation To the United States Army. Koreans serve under the US command in the US Army. They functionally are US soldiers put into the care of US officers, into the company of US soldiers, and under the jurisdiction of US military codes. They wear our uniforms, live on US bases and get all the equipment of US soldiers. He said the program was unique and that it is so significant because, "You [Koreans] put your greatest treasure, your children, your sons, into the care of the United States where you expect them to be treated like our own sons." That's heavy. With a neighbor as insane as North Korea, leaving your sons in the company of what amounts to strangers is no small step for Korean families. Nevertheless, Koreans take that leap because of how close our nations are. Damn.
Then the panel asked some questions about changes in command and the North. Pretty standard responses regarding military policy and politics. The discussion was fairly political and dry by my standards, but the General spoke with utmost confidence in US and RoK forces. He discussed how the RoK forces were EXTREMELY capable thanks to joint military exercises with both nations, and how well prepared our nations are for any volatile action from the Northern Neighbors. He made small jokes throughout which got my attention, but I don't remember them. Just know that he's a really good speaker.
Then they asked a question about cultural exchanges between US and RoK troops. This made him laugh and he told a great story about a program that runs at an Army garrison outside of Seoul. There is a university in the same town as the base, and many families on base have high school or college students of their own, so when terms are over all those kids are kind of hanging around base without much to do. They set up a cultural exchange program for the students where the children of US forces would celebrate holidays with Korean families and Korean students would spend holidays with the families of US forces. The most shocking part was that the Koreans had no idea that US soldiers really had families or kids or wives or husbands. This took me by surprise. In America all we do is think of reuniting our troops with their families and loved ones. Hell, we do that shit at sporting events just to make entire stadiums weep. There are youtube compilations of these. I guess not so much in Korea. I suppose when most young Korean men serve in the middle of their time in university they don't have to worry about children as much. I suppose they have families and girlfriends who miss them as well. It's just different. I guess it's the droves of single soldiers over here that give off that impression. Regardless, it's kind of cool when you surprise someone with knowledge.
Then came the hard hitting questions so-to-speak. By hard hitting I mean the ones with the most controversial topics. However, the General made these questions look like Trivial Pursuit Jr. history questions. Not only were his answers great, the truth actually shocked many Koreans. Firstly, he was asked about a legal jurisdiction question regarding US troops in Korea. Specifically mentioned was a shooting involving US soldiers and a BB gun. The question was asking whether the US having special jurisdiction was an unfair way to make sure US troops were not punished for their actions. The Generals first response was, "That guy with the BB gun, did you know he's sitting in a Korean prison right now as we speak?" The audience all shook their heads and some said "Really?" in Korean. That got them all curious. The General then talked about the percentage of US soldiers who actually got in trouble in Korea. "Actually" was a word I took with a grain of salt, there are all different kinds of getting into trouble. Getting blasted and being thrown in an MP drunk tank is one thing, being arrested for shooting Koreans is another. I know one is for sure counted, but the other... maybe not. Regardless, the way Korean media portrays US soldiers is just a really drunk disruptive bunch. The General mentioned that yes, the overwhelming majority of times there is a legal incident, alcohol was involved. This is sad, but not unexpected. He then personally mentioned Soju, which was really funny and got a lot of the audience laughing, but then said that alcohol abuse was and is a problem everywhere. That kind of shut us up. He asked how many people in the room had ever tried Soju, the Korean liquor. I raised my hand, as did about half the room. He said that most Americans have never tried Soju. The crowd was stunned. Imagine a college kid who's never had Natty Lite (His name is Thom). The General then said that the 20% ABV was deceptive and that it led to many young US soldiers getting blackout drunk quicker than expected and making stupid mistakes. If you've ever been out on a busy Korean street at night, I assure you, anybody with two working eyes could make this observation. But it's kind of different when you're dealing with an entire base full of young foreigners.
The next hard hitting question was about an Agent Orange dump-site under a US base on Korean soil, a pretty serious thing. Agent Orange was a defoliant used during Vietnam that was incredibly toxic and does unspeakable things to people. The General's response was one sentence. "Those allegations were proven false." I laughed out loud. The panelist had such a huge buildup to the question because she never saw the follow up to the massive Korean media witch hunt. Again, this came down to the media never reporting good news but only reporting the shitty yet exciting news. Papers gotta sell after all. The General went on to describe the lengths of the investigation, from tracking down and interviewing every single US and RoK soldier stationed on that base from Vietnam to the alleged date of the drums' secret removal from their underground storage. Not one soul knew of any Agent Orange. Then the Army let Korean teams analyze the soil and water all around the base. Not a trace of Agent Orange. The General knew his way around a tough question, but more impressively, he knew his way around the facts. He knew so much about these issues it made me wonder what else one has to know in order to become a General, not to mention the sheer wit.
After the panel had finished up their questions he opened up the floor to questions from the audience. The first question was interesting and deceptively simple. It was, "With US and RoK forces under a joint command, are there ever any doctrinal or policy conflicts between the militaries?" The General's response addressed that yes, each fighting force is an individual entity, yet each military has a very similar set of core values and ideology and that since both forces work so closely their policies and decisions produce very little conflict. This can probably be attributed to the fact that the US helped rebuild Korea and helped oversee its military since after the war. It only seems natural that we helped set up the RoK military partly in our image, and for this reason we get along well when it comes do addressing problems.
The next question was out of the blue and pretty forcefully worded, and actually the only time the General seemed flustered. A Korean guy in the front row asked why no recycling was done at Camp Casey and that it should be done because the Koreans were hosting us and that the US had no right to pollute Korean soil. The General said that to the best of his knowledge, all us bases recycled. Hell, he said he'd been yelled at for not recycling by a subordinate. The Korean man said that this was false, that he was a KATUSA soldier stationed at Camp Casey and that the trash was not separated. By now the Korean guy seemed pretty confident that he had the General backed into a corner. It sure looked that way to me. The General finally dodged the question and saved face by saying that on all the bases he'd been on, he knew recycling occurred and trash was separated. Then a voice from the back said, "Excuse me, Sir, but I can answer that question." It was the Major in the General's PR team. The big DSLR camera made it pretty clear that he was the photographer for the day. "Sir, all waste at Camp Casey is outsourced, recycling and trash separation are not done in-house." The General's face lit up with a smile and said, "There's you're answer. Thanks for throwing me a lifeline on that one, Major." Lots of the Koreans didn't understand that idiomatic expression, but I did and laughed.
There were a few more standard questions with short answers, like "The Korean government does the KATUSA lottery, the US Army doesn't pick people," or, "I don't know what's going to happen with the current area taken up by the Yongsan Base after it closes down." Then one girl asked what the General's thoughts on a US congresswoman who suggested that the USA pull out of Korea in order to keep North Korea calm. The General responded with a big smile and said, "How'd that work out in the 50s?" I laughed REALLY hard at that, but it took most of the Koreans about 3 seconds to get the joke, so it was me, the officers behind me, and the embassy moderator giggling like idiots while the Koreans let the humor sink in. Whatever, it was hilarious. The General said that that tactic wouldn't work, if the RoK wanted US forces out, we could and would leave as soon as possible. He also said appeasement was not going to work for such an unstable northern neighbor. That was great final question.
Then it was picture time. Each high school wanted their own picture with the General, so these crowds of about 15 Korean students would crowd around him doing peace signs and some K-Pop hand gestures where girls touch their face. The Major was taking some official pictures of the scene, but Korean kids kept handing him smartphones. I asked the Major if he wanted me to hold his big camera, and he gladly handed it to me. So I held this huge camera while the Major swapped through about 5 different Samsung Galaxies, but each time the kids kept changing hand signs. I told him to do the peace signs and he laughed. Day: Made. After the hordes of people, he finally looked at me and said, "I'm already late for my meeting, one more picture."
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| Well worth the wait |
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