Lotte World

This Friday my friends and I decided to go to Lotte World, an indoor and outdoor amusement park in Seoul.

First, Lotte is a giant conglomerate corporation. They have their own department stores, super markets, ATMs, Credit Cards, fast food restaurants, hotels, oil interests. They're Procter & Gamble with retail stores. They even sponsor a baseball team here in Korea. They also own Lotte World, their own amusement park. It is a strange concept, the most similar thing in America I can think of is Hershey Park. A company with a somewhat unrelated product has an amusement park. But Lotteworld was not a business diversification themed park (Although that would have made for some very interesting rides and attractions). Its theme is... interesting.

We took the train to Lotte World, which was pretty easy. Although the ride was about 35 minutes, it was just one transfer. We got off the subway and made our way towards the exit marked "Lotte World."



We reached the exit and it opened up to a an underground courtyard with some shops and food-court style restaurants. There was also an entrance to Lotte Department Store because you may as well cover all of your bases in this one prime location. Oh yeah, this was there too:

Trevi Fountain

I can't make this up. There was a fake Trevi fountain in this underground complex. Here's the plaque proving it. Our friend had forgotten to mention the replica of one of Rome's most famous landmarks. 

We laughed pretty hard at this because we were going to an amusement park in Korea which has a German name and now we see that it has a fake Italian fountain. Our friend had also been in Rome before coming to Korea, so he laughed extra hard at that.

We then walked into a large corridor that led to kind of a shopping mall. It had stores on either side and plenty of walking space in between for people. There was one store that sold crazy hats. I mean insane hats. Some were baseball hats but with brims 1 inch long, others had really high upturned brims that were almost vertical, and others were neon colored with cartoon faces on the head with the brand "El Stinko" written on them. It was like a combination of rave gear and 80s tackiness. It was right up my alley.

Across from that store was a Dickies store. Dickies, the work clothing brand. Incidentally, I've seen A LOT of people wearing Dickies clothing, primarily hats and sweatshirts that say the name and some vaguely American slogan like "Liberty" or "Rugged Tough." I was puzzled as to why all these Koreans were into practical working clothes until I saw the store. They sold khakis all right, but they were capri length. And on male mannequins. And in pastel colors. Yeah, they have these kinds of pants in the US, but I'm pretty sure you don't need such a skinny fit on work pants. Clearly it was a fashion store and one that sold a bizarre style: American. I guess they hit the nail on the head with this one, I wear Dickies pants and love freedom.

We kept walking down the hall and saw more shops, a HUGE food court, and finally the entrance to Lotte World. There was a waterfall that was hooked up to lights and a controller so it would shut off the water to do patterns and spell words in English, Korean and Chinese. Yeah, science. And there were the two main characters, Lotty and Lorry sitting right on the fountain just asking to get photographed. So we took a picture.

We then got in line for admission. As we were waiting we saw a whole lot of US soldiers coming out of the park. How did you know they were soldiers you may ask? When there's a large group of black, latino, and white people walking around with high-and-tight haircuts and Mossy Oak sweatshirts, you kind of put two and two together. And judging by the large inflatable hammers they were carrying, I was about to have a hell of a time.

We had a special admission deal, so we got into the park for the low low price of $9 as long as we got there after 4PM. Unlimited rides and general admission. For $9. Hell yeah. I was curious if they had some sort of Flash Pass style "Money Can Buy Happiness" system of not waiting in lines, but I figured there were no monster rides that would have 2 hour long lines. Plus, it wasn't 6 Flags in the summer and I wouldn't be getting sunburned,  so I decided against it. Also, getting into an amusement park for $9 is pretty impressive in and of itself.

We walk past some character statues and head up an escalator and we are finally inside Lotte World!

These pictures don't do the room justice, The place was HUGE. The ceiling was enormous and grey with a big sky light to let as much sun in. It would cost a fortune to light the place otherwise. There was a monorail running the perimeter of the room and a balloon ride on the ceiling offering a good view of the park. There was a TGI Fridays restaurant there too. I guess a Friday's can open anywhere as long as you can get a microwave working.

Ceiling about 4 stories tall. You can see the balloon in the top right

This park had a theme, but it definitely escaped me. It was like someone frankensteined Disney World together with a carnival. This place was not Disney in the same sense that Mega Bloks aren't Lego; similar, yet 100% different. This place also wasn't the shittiest thing ever, so the Mega Bloks comparison is slightly flawed. If you don't understand this comparison, build a Lego set and then just try to fit two Mega Bloks together. You'll know then. Back to theme. Lotte World didn't have the Magic Kingdom, it had the Magic Island. They didn't have Epcot, they had a bunch of European style buildings, like a Dutch Windmill and houses with Spanish tile roofs and some Swiss looking chalets and German hot dog stands. It took me totally by surprise.

 Left: little Spain. Right: The beginning of the little Alps Center: The geographically correct French jungle ruins

Another thing that surprised me was the price of things in the park. The food was priced extremely fairly. Less than $2 for a corn dog, as well as less than $2 for corn on a stick. Just a corn cob on a stick. It was really popular. Unfortunately there were no enormous turkey legs like in America. I guess Koreans don't love the taste of freedom. There were fruit stands, coffee shops, noodle places and pretzel stands. All of which were fairly priced. I can get a full delicious meal with all you can eat rice in 안암 for about $4, so technically the snack food was expensive, but for America prices? Forget it. You can't even look at food for less than $3.50 at 6 Flags. This made me happy. Very happy indeed.

So after looking around and taking some pictures we decided to head outside before it got too cold. But we were quickly shepherded out of the main walkway because a parade was about to start. I assumed it would be some kind of unique Lotte World character parade with some Korean twist. Nah. It was an Alice in Wonderland Parade. There were dancers, and a big bus with the Cheshire cat and the worm on top. Inside the bus were a ton of cards.

Queen of Hearts

This male rabbit blew me a kiss. It was very off putting.

A lot of the performers were white, like Tweedledum and Tweedledee

The cards were all parents and their kids. It was pretty cute. 

The parade ended pretty quickly and we finally made our way outside. That's when we saw Cinderella's Magic Castle.

It's clearly different than the one in Disney, right? There was also a Canadian Mountie guarding the bridge to get there. Their jurisdiction is insane.

Inside the castle was this suit of armor (Above) with a monstrous erection and a knight on a horse. There was also a shooting gallery with no attendant and rifles that looked a lot like M14s. I guess people take carnival games seriously when they're trained marksmen.


Our first ride was the Gyro Swing, a large pendulum that swung you over a river and then over the park, all while spinning the seats around in a circle. It was terrifying because of the look straight down at the pavement and river (Which lasted forever, the hang time on that ride was unsettling but awesome), but also because of the EXTREMELY small clearance between the bottom of the pendulum and the other rides. They say it's supposed to be thrilling, my friends and I just found it hilariously dangerous. Also, the seats had wind shields on the harnesses so the wind didn't blind us. The wind coming off the river was so intense I couldn't hear myself scream, and I can only imagine what it would have been like without the shield. Despite the 45 minute wait time, it was still really fun.

Side view of the Castle from Gyro Swing line

The next ride we went on was a lot stranger. It was called Comet Express. The line was also long, but moving really fast. The strange part was, we couldn't see the ride. The line went into a building, but there was no visible ride. We were joking that it was going to be an underground roller coaster. And that's exactly what it was. Our Korean friend forgot it was underground. So we entered the building and it's a space themed ride. Awesome, because space. Naturally my friend and I just started pointing at stuff and start yelling "Space" to make the time pass quicker and because we're 8 years old. The cars finally pulled in and we see the seats spinning. Awesome.

Space Chairs

 We're gonna spin AND get whipped around a metal track.I hopped into the seat and my friend James sits next to me. James is about 80 lbs lighter than me, which led to some complications on the ride. So we got propelled out of the gate and are going pretty slow. The ride is all black lights and strobes and space decorations like UFOs, rockets, and planets. Then we hit the first drop and start racing around this building. So we just yelled SPAAAAAACE the whole ride and pointed at stuff. The weight difference between us caused us to spin REALLY fast as we got whipped around. Our other friends, who weighed about the same, were facing forward for pretty much the whole ride. Their loss, or so we thought. One of the last turns was extremely tight and my friend and I started spinning outrageously fast. Then the air brakes came on and we stopped spinning so fast. We had such aggressive whiplash from that ride we had headaches the rest of the day. I mean it was bad, our neck muscles and our heads generally hurt from all the spinning and speed. But it was totally worth it.

We stumbled off the ride and headed back indoors because it was starting to get cold. We came back inside just in time for a light parade! Just like the one at that other American amusement park whose name escapes me right now...

Sorry the pictures are so blurry, the floats were moving pretty fast and I was kinda far away. 

There was also a huge carousel that looked really pretty when fully lit up

We went on a ride called the Conquistador, which is just a big swinging ship in the Spanish corner of the park. The line was long, but moved really fast. We got to the front and sat down, but James and I started our own row. Then these 3 young girls ran into the ride, sat down next to us and said "Hello Americans!" I guess we looked pretty American. Then they started speaking Korean to us and we were lost. Our friend tried translating but she was too busy laughing at the situation. The ride started and I eventually figured out that they were telling me not to hold on and to only cheer when we we got swung in our own direction. When we got off the ride they grabbed our friend and dragged her to a secondary line where people who didn't mind sitting in the middle of the swinging ship could stand and get on super quick. They then called us handsome Americans, which was super weird because these girls were like, 11 tops. Our Korean friend told us that it's a common compliment. Common or not here in Korea, a having foreign unaccompanied minors call you handsome is weird for any guy.

We then got in line for the log flume. The people getting off the ride weren't too wet looking, so we figured it would be pretty tame. False. This ride's drops were so aggressive they had to have attendants at them telling us to hold on extra tight and not to raise our hands. The picture that they were trying to sell us captured me in the middle of a word that rhymes with "Luck" right as I saw the length of this 80 degree drop. Surprisingly, we didn't get too wet, but we got water on us. There were also dinosaurs on the ride which made everything OK.

Lotte World was a really fun time and I'll definitely be going back again. There are lots of rides left to well... ride, and plenty of corn dogs left to eat. I just hope someone closer to my own age calls me handsome.

Football

This post changes tense in the middle and I'm too lazy to change it. Deal with it.

The club fair at KU was 2 weeks ago, and they had some pretty cool organizations. They had multiple club baseball teams, two rock bands (One metal, one more mainstream), a traditional folk music club, a rock climbing/outdoors club, a  traditional Korean percussion club who let me hit rice cakes with a big wooden hammer, a ton of christian organizations, and the one that caught my interest: The guys in full football gear.

 

I played football in high school and miss the physical and social aspects of the game. I miss the hitting and violence as well as the dicking around and general football team antics. I figured I'd try out for the team to see if it was anything like high school.

 

I can't speak Korean, so I asked one of my KUBA buddies to ask if the guys if allowed exchange students to play. The guy then responded in English.  "Yeah, I'm an exchange student from Canada. You can for sure play." I was thrilled. I took the team's card, gave him my number and Kakao ID and got ready for practice on Tuesday.

 

On Monday night the captain of the team asked me if I knew where the locker room was. I assumed it was in the tiger dome, which is about 3 minutes away from my dorm, adjacent to the practice field. Nope, I was wrong. He told me to meet him at the mail library and he'd take me to the locker room from there. This surprised me, the main library is WAY down the mountain. Unfortunately, the locker room was even further down the mountain.

 

I met the captain at the library and he asked me if I've ever played football. I explained that I played for 4 years in HS and how I played on the line. He smiled and said they needed linemen. We then walked down a large 4 story staircase to the locker room. (I measured this because there's a building who is adjacent to this staircase. Its exit on the ground floor is on level with the locker room, and the 4th floor exit is level with the library.) The building that houses the locker room houses many locker rooms for many sports. At the end of the hall is the Tae Kwon Do room, across the hall is the fencing room, and next to football is the Kumdo/Kendo room. I could tell right away by the screams that there are some serious Kumdo people here in Korea. It was then I realized that in America I did a Korean sport, and now that I was in Korea I was doing an American sport. 

 

I stepped into the locker room and all eyes fell on me. The captain said that I was an exchange student from New York and that I wanted to play. Some of the guys on the team said hello in English  others in Korean, and there was a lot of bowing. One of the linemen greeted me and we started talking. He had played here at KU for a few years and was going to help get me gear. Right off the bat I got my helmet, shoulders and lowers. I was surprised that I was going right into full gear, but I was kind of excited: I got to hit early and knock off the cobwebs at full speed. Surprisingly, they had everything in my size. The equipment was a little old, but whatever. I didn't have to pay a deposit and I was gonna play football!

 

Before we get to the field, the locker room decoration deserves its entire section. The locker room has a wall of lockers on the right side of the room and a TV, whiteboard and bench press on the left. Opposite the door on the other side of the room is where shoulder pads and cloth (jerseys, pants, etc.) are. The room has some old chairs, a ton of trophies ranging from new to SUPER old, and some of the most eclectic and dated football football posters I've ever seen. My locker has a picture of a VERY young Donovan McNabb on it. The one above it has Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick. Chad Pennington's picture is up on the wall next to a picture of the old Giants stadium. These may be from as early as 2009 or 2007, but trust me, these are from about 2001 judging by photo quality. There's also a huge Vince Lombardi quote poster, a history of the NFL poster and a surprisingly large number of Tampa Bay Bucs posters. I guess with no NFL team loyalty every team gets represented. It's interesting not seeing Giants/Jets gear everywhere. At least there's not much Patriots stuff. 

We then lined up outside the locker room and walked up the hill. Nights in Korea are cold. REALLY cold, so the walk up was pretty rough since we carry our pads and helmets up the hill. We put our gear down on the turf and then lined up on the sideline. Then we started a cadenced run around the field. With my very limited Korean background, I could glean that the cheer involved Korea University, and I could also glean that the grunts were a signal for me to grunt as well. Consider me a master linguist. I often forget a lot of these guys were in the military, so this cadenced run must have been normal. I liked it, the yells echo off the hill and concrete bleachers nicely. I could already tell this was a good choice. 

We then stretched in a style similar to the stretches I did in high school, so I wasn't too lost in the beginning. Then we suited up and got right to hitting. We did tackling and blocking drills, which were fun to do again, but there was one problem: I didn't have cleats. I was getting put on my ass all the time because I had no traction. Also, the guy I was paired with was really good at football. He got out of his stance low, and fired across the ball really quickly. He was also about 3 inches taller than me. Unfortunately he shipped out for military service the other day, so I only got to know him briefly. (After his last practice he stood looking at the locker room and I asked him if he needed help. He said, "No. Just taking a look." That's heavy man, that's heavy).

Ok, I've been practicing for a few weeks now, so the rest of this post is gonna be bulleted little stories from the team.

• It doesn't matter what country you're in, dick jokes with squirting water bottles will always be made on the football field
• Women and beer are two topics that a lot of my teammates can discuss with me at lengh in English
• We have female equipment managers from the nearby women's university. It's awesome because they laugh at me for speaking clumsy Korean and are also very cute
• I have learned how to say construction worker because all the guys on the team call me that when I wear my safety orange sweatshirt into the locker room
• There's a lot of formal bowing to the captains, coaches, and Alumni (OB/Old Boys) who are playing with us for the spring season
• The team gets food together after every practice and the lady who owns the restaurant we frequent complimented me on my ability to eat spicy food. It was nice.
• A lot of the guys on the team have engineering majors, which is cool. One of the guys is in my ECE class, so we complain about the craziness that is voltage drop over an essential mesh. 
• The guys on the team think it's cool that I'm from NY, but they also think NYC is the most dangerous place on earth. Illegal guns in America is a topic of interest across the globe it seems. 
• A lot of guys on the team think all American girls are fat. I then call them crazy.
• A lot of guys on the team think Korean girls are very beautiful. I then agree with them.

Ok, this story warrants more than a bullet. So the team gets out of dinner on Thursday night and very few people have classes the next day. One guy starts saying "Deathmatch? Deathmatch?" I only assume this is some aggressive drinking game. So everybody starts laughing and sounding uneasy until the guy approaches the two managers and says "Manager Deathmatch!!!" They then agree. I assume the next thing I'm gonna see is two girls try to chug a bottle of soju, but they then start playing rock paper scissors. I asked my friend if this is a drinking game and he laughs and says no, the loser buys the team ice cream. I laugh and think, oh, this is gonna be fun and kinda cute. It was the most intense 5 minutes of my entire life. Each manager was a team captain. They played rock paper scissors against each other and whoever won picked a player for their team. I got picked pretty early because I'm pretty hard to miss, and I introduced myself to the manager that day. Score. So once all the players were picked, it was a "deathmatch" single elimination team tournament. It was heated. Lots of long strings of ties and draws, a few long streaks and LOTS of cheering and yelling. All in the middle of the street on a Thursday night at 10:45 PM. Then out of nowhere a school bus drops an 8 year old kid off. They don't mess around when it comes to education in Korea. My team won the tournament, and then the losing team did an internal tournament. The loser of that then bought us all ice cream. It was awesome because I just grabbed a random one because I have no idea what the wrappers said. All I know is that the coffee/chocolate swirl comes in a green and blue package. 

I'm really happy to be playing football again and I hope my verb tenses didn't change too much in this blog post. There are pictures of me suited up, I just have no idea where our managers have all these photos saved. 

Immigration

Today I had to do my immigrant registration. Although I have my Visa, Korea mandates that all foreigners get an alien registration card if the stay is over 90 days. No pictures, because if you truly care about what foreign bureaucratic offices look like, then you need to take a long look in the mirror and get a new hobby.

My friends who had done immigration said it took 6 hours when they got there at 8, and I wasn't about to waste 6 hours of prime daylight and meal times, so I took the Doug Lyons (Hi Pop) approach of beating rush hour and the crowds. If I caught the first train there would not only be seating, but I would have ample time to stake my claim as the first person in line and be in and out extremely quickly. The doors to the office did not open until 9:00 AM, but if people are willing to camp for a week outside of stores for Black Friday, I figured I could wait a few hours to prevent my deportation. So my day started at 4:00 AM. And let me tell you, it was a memorable trip for all the wrong reasons.

I made my way down to Anam to get the only thing that could brighten such a bleak morning: McDonald's breakfast. They have some unique breakfast sandwiches like the McBLT and the Chicken Cheese McMuffin, but I went with the classic Egg McMuffin combo. The hash-browns are delicious, and if think otherwise I will report you to HUAC (Look it up). I also chose McDonalds because I truthfully have no idea what Koreans eat for breakfast. I've seen people eat Kimbap and bagels, soup and yogurt. It runs the gambit, but I just can't establish what traditional Korean breakfast is. I just wanted something to set the right tone for a solid day of paperwork and waiting. Now that I had some hot coffee in my stomach and some Mc eggs, I was ready to hit the subway.

Now the train opened at 5:00AM, so I got to the subwayat 4:55 so I could be first. I was. The guys opening the gate must have thought I was crazy.  But no, I was on a mission to 안국. I sat down in the station and watched as they tested the subway doors and the safety doors for the station and train. The doors opened and I set up with my Kindle and prepared myself mentally to really enjoy this e-book. Luckily I brought a lot of books about America in Asia, so I could read about the greatest country on earth while simultaneously feeling like I was getting educated. 


I walked through the subway station, and as I exited it was still dark out. WOOOOOOOO! Being a responsible adult is so cool, the sun doesn't even warm you. But it was actually pretty cold out. The immigration office is about a block from the station, and it's in one of these bizarre Korean style buildings with like 22 different small shops in it. It's also 24 hour, which is cool. I walked upstairs, looked around and sat down. It was just me and the cleaning crew. I was SmittyWerbenJaegerManJensen: I was number 1.  

I got to the office around 6:05AM and continued reading. Man, Douglas MacArthur was an interesting dude. The place smelled exactly like my dentist's office, which was really weird. It triggered one of those smell memory things and all I could think of was talking baseball and football with my dentist. Then a Korean lady started mopping the floor in front of me and wham, back to Seoul. 

The next person came in at about 6:30. We acknowledged each other's presence and shared a mutual agreement that this day was gonna blow goats no matter what. I could tell he was Chinese student because his book was in Chinese characters and he was wearing a university jacket. I'm no linguist, so I'm going to refer to all Chinese dialects as Chinese for simplicity's sake. More and more people started showing up, most of whom were Chinese. I can identify Japanese and Korean fairly well, and the Chinese student next to me was communicating with the other people, hence my conclusion. When the crowd was just starting to get big , this guy started speaking Korean to us. Some spoke Korean  but most didn't so his words were largely wasted. I just kept my head down and kept on reading. Then he spoke in very good Chinese. All the others with me respond. Then broken English "wait outside" with a lot of gesturing. He shepherded  myself, the Chinese student and another guy out into the stairwell and just left us there. The Chinese student and I shared a confused look and then stepped into the hall again because clearly this wasn't where the line was. The Chinese student asked him why we were waiting outside, and the man responded with something I assume was unsavory because all the Chinese people in line started losing their shit and yelling at this guy. Douglas MacArthur's WWI career was never so interesting. I was trying really hard to keep my head down. The Korean guy started getting more animated and aggressive. Then the offensive hand gestures started getting thrown around by the Chinese people. The Korean guy walks away, gets his bigass trashcan and goes to the elevator. This guy was a custodian just trying to mess with us. The Chinese guy tells me "You were first" and points for me to go back to where I was. Unfortunately, four people had lined up where I was so I was now fifth. I figured one verbal altercation was enough, so I let it be. They were older guys anyway, I could stand longer and figured they had better things to go do today, so I wasn't too pissed. Then the Korean custodian came back and started yelling again, The first words out of the Chinese student's mouth were, "肏你妈" or  "Fuck your mother" in English. That is the only Chinese phrase I know. I immediately started laughing my ass off. The rest of the line joined in the chorus until the janitor left.

Clearly what had happened was no misunderstanding. Somebody was trying to give immigrants a hassle and intentionally make their day worse just because they're foreign. It's a good thing stuff like this doesn't happen in America. Wait... White male's back in the USA aren't on the receiving end of racism too often, and this was the first time it happened to me. Prejudice and discrimination just got brought to a whole different light today. I mean yeah, no shit racism, is awful, and we've all known this for years. Having it happen to you is a whole different story. This is my first real "Whoa man, studying abroad is like SO, mind opening" experience. I don't know how to properly verbalize how stupid, shallow, and idiotic I feel for not having a deeper knowledge of the extent of racism until now, but yeah, I do. I'm just kind of disappointed in myself that the first really significant experience which I seriously reflect upon is one where I realize I'm no longer the ruling caste so-to-speak. That sounds pretty despicable in writing, but it's the unfortunate truth. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go up to a 1950s civil rights activist and say, "Hey, I know what it was like getting hosed and attacked by dogs just so I could eat lunch with everybody else, I too was inconvenienced" but I damn sure am going to reevaluate the things I do and say to others. Ok, my PSA is over.


By the end of those 2 spectacular displays of city life, it was only 7:20.The line had easily grown to about 100 people by then, and we had another hour and 40 minutes left to go before the gates busted open. Waking up at the ass crack of dawn no longer seemed so shitty, I had a very good spot in line and it seemed that the only remaining hurdle was the waiting. I was wrong. Dead wrong. 

My first glimpse at cheating was a classic move: The Chat and Cut. A group of students ran into someone they knew and began engaging in some lighthearted conversation. Then they started inching closer. And closer. And closer. Until they were in line right there. It was well executed dick move. I'll give them that. But poor practice on the part of the people watching this happen. Foolishly, I did not expect the second instance of cheating until it was far too late. 

It was about 8:00 and waves and waves of people had come out of the elevator, looked at the line, gasped or whined at a boyfriend, and proceeded to take the long walk to the back. Except for these 4 women who have a special place in hell reserved for them. These women are the worst humanity has to offer; blatant line cutters. Their lack of shame is worse than my lack of knowledge of multivariable calculus, and that's saying something. I wholeheartedly hope they stub their toes, knock the nail into the skin, create a cut that they leave untreated, get a MRSA infection, and lose their whole foot. That's how furious I was that these vultures.  They all massed on that bench just waiting for the doors to open. And open they did. And those four women rushed that door as fast as they could. The flood of Chinese curses erupted yet again, this time from REALLY far back in the line too. I gave them the dirtiest look I possibly could and said "Are you kidding me?" One of them, the older woman, had the nerve to look back at me and give me a "Sucks to suck" smile. This perfectly captures how I felt. The clerk blocking the door was giving instructions on how to get tickets, but I was still too busy being furious. To pay attention to them. He moved out of the way and all four of these women inched in front of me. I was given ticket number 14. I had been awake for 5 hours, and this was all I had to show for it. Ticket.14. 

I got called, handed in my papers, and got fingerprinted. Thank God I'm done with this forsaken place. Just kidding, I have to go back in 2 weeks to pick up the card. 

Seoul National Museum

I know it's been a while, but homework has been picking up and engineering is as magical in Korea as it is in America. 

This past Saturday I chose to continue my museum hunt by heading to Seoul National museum. It is right by Yongsan, the area where the US has its large military garrison. So I hopped on the train at around 1PM and started making my way to the museum. As I transferred trains a man approached me and said, "Excuse me, are you in the army?" This caught me completely off-guard. First, his English was perfect. Second, I have long hair and am about 30 lbs above regulation weight for the Army, so I felt pretty good that I could at least briefly pass off for someone of reasonable weight. I also had no idea who this Korean guy was. 

I replied no and said I am an exchange student from GW. We then started talking more. For starters, he was an American. I often forget the USA is a nation of immigrants. However, I rightfully assumed him to be Korean because his parents are Korean-American immigrants. I asked him why he assumed I was in the army and he asked me because he's in the army here himself. He is stationed in the Yongsan garrison and was wondering if I was new on base. We talked more and he thought it was hilarious that it was only my 3rd week in Korea. We exchanged Kakao IDs and will probably hang out at some point in the future. My mission to make friends with someone in the army was completed far quicker than I thought it would be.

So I get off the train and in the station they have signs that point to the museum. After a few museum themed tunnels and a staircase I get out of the subway to the sight of this:

One of 2 Army helicopters flying overhead

The entrance opened up to a large concrete walkway with lamp posts and a coffee shop on the left. Dead ahead was a fairly large reflecting pool with a pagoda on an inlet in the middle. I didn't go inside because two people were doing a dramatic reading. If you've ever stumbled in on a dramatic reading, it's kind of off putting. Especially when a red haired white lady is dressed in an Indian sari and yelling in Old English. 

 The pond was directly across from the museum, so I decided to walk around it first as I read that there was an outdoor sculpture gallery. Along the perimeter I got a pretty good shot of Seoul Tower right between the two main wings of the museum.

 The sculpture garden was on the other side of the lake and the first part had a lot of pagodas which were pretty cool to see.

The one on the top left was the tallest, and the twin ones on the bottom right were the widest. 

There were some little kids running around which I thought was cute, but then I heard a lot more kids laughing. I walked down this trail past a waterfall (see waterfall) and saw some signs for Yongsan family park. It was a big playground with some cool looking slides, a giant bench sculpture and The Wicker Man from the movie, The Wicker Man. I didn't take pictures here because I figured a tall guy who hadn't shaved in a few days travelling alone taking pictures of children wouldn't go over well in any country.

NOT THE BEES

I walked back to the outdoor gallery and saw some cool Buddha statues:

Some cool sculptures of people in old Korean dress:

I like to think they're ancient tag team wrestlers who were immortalized in stone

 And then this thing. I'll give you a dollar if you know what it is. Give up? Check the caption, which is a direct  quote from the plaque in front of it.

"The Joeson royal household had a tradition to establish a womb depository at an auspicious place when a child was born. In the womb depository were a jar containing the baby's amnion, placenta and navel string. This stone item is a case used in the womb depository to store such a jar." Yup. 

So after saying gross and laughing to myself I walked to this huge bell, which was cast in 1468. This bell older than America's discovery. And about 20 feet tall. The loop on top is a dragon and it has its own pagoda-like structure around it. It is always interesting to see stuff that's older than America because it makes you think of how violently different the western hemisphere is now than it was before Europe kind of found it in the middle of the ocean.

This bell is so big it goes up to 11 

 There were some other cool sculptures and towards the end there was another good view of Seoul tower, but then I headed into the real museum.

Before going into the museum I had to decide whether or not I wanted to see the special exhibit, Art Across America. I decided against it because I didn't fly across the planet just to take a good hard look at what I left; I came here to see new things, experience new cultures and perhaps meet some cute girls at this museum. I accomplished the first two objectives on this museum trip.

The museum's main gallery has a floor-plan a little bit like a lollipop. It has a entrance and one large main corridor that houses the galleries. I decided that I should start at the top and work my way down so I didn't waste any time. It takes 2 escalators to take you up one floor, so I hopped on the first set and was brought up without any problems. I then got to the escalators on floor 2 and saw that they were off with red lights on the side. Then the escalator started spitting out some words in Korean.  I sighed, shook my head, and then opened my eyes and the escalator was on. I got really freaked out, but not freaked out enough not to take the escalator. I got to the next one and again, it starts speaking to me in Korean. This time I ignore the lights and start right on a-climbin'. Then the voice stopped and then the escalator kicked on. I then realized that the voice was saying, "Stand back, this thing will be dangerous if you're on it when it kicks on!" Science is dangerous when you can't speak the language, but whatever, it got my blood pumping to go aggressively look at some art.

The view from the 3rd floor balcony

 I apologize in advance for the graininess of these pictures, this museum was extraordinarily poorly lit and flash was prohibited. Pop, if you're reading this, you would have been angry at the low levels of light.



The first exhibit was art from India. There were some Buddha sculptures and figures, some gold work, and some very pretty Islamic art. It's a shame it was all so low lit, no good pictures came out.

The next section was Chinese art. They had some beautiful ceramics and sculptures of zodiac symbols. The best ceramic piece I saw in this part was this plate. Asian artwork has a certain way of capturing birds that I really enjoy. That, and it's art you can eat off of.

The next section was the Japanese section. Japan and Korea have had a tenuous relationship in the past because of military invasion and brutal colonialism, but that does not change the beauty and presence of Japanese art and culture in Korea. They of course had Samurai armor, a work of art in and of itself in terms of beauty and functionality, as well as some traditional wood block prints. I like those the because all of this stuff is etched into wood and individually inked. There's no room for error when it comes to the stamping. I also really fucking hate modern art, so it's nice to look at actual pictures.

The next section was all about things they found in an old shipwreck off the coast of Korea. It was a trade ship that visited China, Korea and Japan in the so called "Maritime Silk Road." It had pots, Buddhist artifacts, Japanese monks' trinkets, a TON of Chinese coins, medicinal herbs, and some weapons. It was also very poorly lit as well, so no pictures.

Next were some HUGE stone Buddha statues. They were in a room all to themselves, each one about 20 feet tall. 

There were more than these, but they all formed a large semi-circle around the room. Buddha statues aren't as violent or animated as lots of Christian artwork, but frequently the religious message can get lost when there's a crusade going on in the background and the flame of the holy spirit is over about 3 guys' heads. These statues are simple and serene. The statues do the initial inspiring but the rest is up to the individual. 

My favorite thing in the entire museum was not some piece of artwork or famous sculpture or some kind of national artifact. No, my favorite part was the ancient back scratcher. I am not making that up. Read the plaque.

Only the most dignified had back scratchers. The rest had to rub up against walls. 

 I laughed really loudly in this quiet museum and a guard looked at me. It was worth it. I don't mean to be crude or crass or an ugly American. It's just funny that a back scratcher is in a national museum. Hell, one of the Ninja Turtles is in the Smithsonian. I just never expected there to be a Buddhist back scratcher in existence, let alone in a museum. Most prevalent in all exhibits were pottery. I found the pottery to be dull as it all tended to look the same after a while. I guess all art does, but un-decorated green pots are only so interesting. The artwork on some was breathtaking, don't get me wrong, but call me a barbarian if I don't see the beauty and dignity in a plain Celadon vase.

The Knots

Then there were the privately donated galleries. This was an entire floor of things private collectors had donated. It was practically a museum's worth in and of itself. One hall was full of traditional Korean woodwork, a few more were full of pottery, and one was full of roof tile ornaments. If you've ever one of those Asian style  roofs with the tiles like scales, the ends of those tiles that come off the roof have little end pieces. Some had lotus leaves, others had dragons, still more had different characters on them.  But my favorite exhibit was the private collection of Hanbok knots. Hanbok was the traditional Korean style clothing  worn during the Joeson period, and these knots ornamented women's outfits. They are all hand made and tied, which baffled me because I can barely tie my shoes. Some were intricate meshes of thick rope in a diamond, other were tassels, and others still had beautiful hand knotted patterns. It may just be the novelty of a non-European style of dress, but I think it looks pretty cool.

I left the museum just as the sun was going down and left pretty satisfied, but not how I wanted to feel. I expected to see more painted canvas art or calligraphy. I was kind of disappointed because I wanted to see a specific kind of art. I don't mean to complain, it was a great time seeing so many new things.


Next museum: History Museum.

Big Wigs

This past Wednesdaywe (The GW gang) had a meeting with the associate dean of student life for the engineering school and two of his colleagues whose positions I can't really remember now. Regardless, they were important and wanted to have coffee and doughnuts with us. I don't really know if this is a thing in Korea or something they thought we'd be used to as Americans. On one hand, Korea has coffee shops and bakeries everywhere. On the other hand, Americans are doughnut crazy, and coffee is big in America as well. Regardless, I was happy.

The KU professors asked us about our classes, our adjustments to Korea and what we think of KU. They primarily asked us if we had any problems with our courses being in English. They even said, "If you don't like Korean food, there's a McDonalds down the street from campus." Surprisingly, that bad joke made us laugh pretty hard because it was pretty unexpected and lightened the mood. But not all the way. It was 8 foreigners and 3 extremely qualified engineers asking us whether or not we were happy. We were telling the truth, when we said we were happy, and we had very few questions. KUBA covered a whole lot and got us set up really well. This led to a lot of prolonged silences, which were pretty awkward. What really got us talking was internships. 

The associate dean said that lots of big Korean companies did on-campus recruiting throughout the year. I had noticed this from all the big banners advertising the recruitment, but only that day did I see where they actually did the recruitment: the large campus recruitment room in Hana Square (the huge engineer tunnel). The room, which I had discovered while looking for the bathroom that morning, has a long desk around the perimeter of the room with dividers so the desk is separated into about 8 one-on-one windows. The company people sit on one side, the students sit on the other. It was Hyundai's day in house and they were giving out little model cars. He then said he'd do what he could to see if he could put us in touch with these Korean companies and see if they were interested in hiring or interviewing us. International work experience would be some pretty huge news for anyone, let alone 8 undergrads.

After that he told us that he looked forward to dinner with us and OUR dean Friday night. Wait, OUR dean? Dean Dolling? Yup. We had no idea he was coming to town. Apparently the dean and a few professors were coming to visit KU and also have dinner with us on Friday night. This got me excited because I'd met him before, but nobody else had. They were all missing out. Dean Dolling's the man. He's a Welsh mechanical engineer with a wit so dry it could be 92 degrees out and you wouldn't even be uncomfortable because it's actually the humidity that gets you. That dry. They told us to dress "casual," but I brought a blazer and tie and was expecting to meet some pretty important people at this thing. I was gonna look good.

Oh my God, these people were so much more important than I thought they were going to be and I am so glad I brought fancy clothes.. For starters, the event was located in a room called the Skyview Lounge. We get there to find that it has been renamed the Crimson Lounge after the school's color. Still, it was on the 12th floor of the tallest building on campus, so we knew something fancy was going to be on the other side of those elevator doors once 12 lit up. When the door opened there was a greeter with name tags all laid out, one for each person arriving. I took mine and walked down the corridor to the main room. The view is what first caught my eye. We could see a lot of  Seoul and the surrounding mountains from the room. It was glass on nearly every side. The view was breathtaking as the sun slowly set around the city. Its large apartment complexes and lights were absolutely stunning.

The administrators we met on Wednesday greeted us, pointed us towards our seating charts and then exchanged small-talk. Then the KU engineers who were at GW last semester showed up! It was great to see them again and talk for a little. It turns out they were at my table, which was great news, more time to catch up.

Then the GW crew walked in. Dean Dolling was in the lead with a KU person who I will mention later, and a big group professors from both universities followed. The dean shook my hand and made fun of my tie. I didn't care, it was a bitchin' pink and blue checked tie. I then said hello to the rest of the professors and then met the illustrious Simon Lee.

Simon Lee is the man who made my study abroad possible. He did his engineering undergrad at KU and got his masters in systems engineering at GW. He's a KU and GWU alum who loves both schools so deeply that he established the endowment for our GW-KU exchange program through SEAS. He is also CEO of a massive government contracting firm with projects all across the globe. He is immensely successful and has personally donated over a million dollars for this program. If it were not for his time, money and effort, I would not be having this unforgettable experience.

Then we were all introduced to the various other dignitaries at the dinner. Many of them were departmental heads at the KU engineering school. The MAE department gave me and the other Mech-E his card and told us to email him to arrange lunch. Neat. Then we met the President Emeritus of KU. This guy presided over one of the most prestigious schools in Asia, let alone Korea, and here he was shaking my hand as if it was his pleasure to meet me, a bum whose blazer was too big and whose had woken up at 3PM that day. Was I really already A)This old? or B)This respectable? I mean yeah, I'm a sophomore in college, but I'm nowhere near respect levels of this kind. It did make me think of the places engineering could take me though. Frontier spirit now kind of means something.

As we sat down to dinner there were little menus besides our plates. This would be my first ever 8 course meal. It was also the first time I had ever seen that many forks around one plate. I just followed what the associate dean of student life did. He sat next to me, and the rest of the table was two other GW students and 4 KU students who had studied at GW through the exchange program. We all talked about how terrible J Street was, their favorite places in Seoul, and how I went to Hongdae the night before. The dean laughed at me and let out a sigh like he remembered being young and in Hongdae. They probably played some bitching 70s disco K-Pop too. The dean then talked about North Korea's posturing and then I made fun of Kim Jong-Un's haircut and he laughed really hard. That made me really happy.

We were then called up to speak bout our time at KU so far. It was very intimidating speaking to all the professors, especially with nothing prepared beforehand. I thanked Simon Lee and talked about how much I loved KU's school spirit and the way its students love the school. This place is really amazing.

Simon Lee then got up and addressed us all. He talked about how the exchange program builds bridges that cross the Pacific. He spoke about how in this globalized world it is important to branch out and become familiar with the futures of business and engineering interaction. He then said it was a great opportunity to learn Korean for GW students, and for KU students to learn English. He then said the KU students should get boyfriends or girlfriends at GW and that GW students should get girlfriends or boyfriends here at KU so we could really become, and I quote, "Masters."

 One step at a time Mr. Lee, one step at a time.

Camera

I finally got a camera! It cost me a whopping $81 for a 14 megapixel Samsung. That company loves Korea. And I love them. However, it is black and has a digital display, so Apple's probably gonna sue them. Pictures are coming, probably this weekend as I want to take pictures of campus without looking like a tourist.

Clubbing in Hongdae

Not having Friday classes is fantastic. I'm gonna miss the extra day off back at GW.
Also, still no camera, but there will be pictures to better explain the experience I had last night.

Last night was my Korean friend's birthday and he wanted to go clubbing in Hongdae, a trendy neighborhood in Seoul. I didn't have high hopes, but it was his birthday and he was newly single, so we decided to do it right. We meet up at the subway station and start walking around.

Hongdae is very different from Anam, taller buildings but a little more spread out. Fewer alleyways and wider streets with more street vendors. We wind up going to this restaurant near the subway and sit down for dinner. We order drinks, one of which came in a hollowed out pineapple, and some Korean food. The food was amazing. Pork with tofu and kimchi followed by ramen, rice cakes, dumplings and seafood mixed together in hot pepper sauce. It was the kind of spicy that makes you sweat. My favorite.

After that it was time to go to our first club. The cover was waived until midnight, so we got in for free. Korean clubs are great for coat check, it was less than $3 per big bag for your stuff, we could fit our three winter coats into this bag no problem. Cost was highly reasonable so far. Drinks inside were expensive though, so it evened out.

The club was a black room with 1.5 floors. That is , there was a main dance floor and bar area with a balcony for people who paid the huge amount for table service. The dance floor had a HUGE DJ stage, 3 DJs were up there with monster LED screens for graphics. Two stripper poles flanked the stage. The DJs also had a huge lighting rig with lasers, spotlights on the poles, and strobes to light up the crowd right before the bass hit. It was a pretty neat setup. It's a shame it was 3:1 guys to girls. There were a ton of guys in this club ranging from tattoo covered hipsters, guys dressed like LMFAO, and this huge guy in an argyle sweater with a Kim Il-Sung haircut. And Kim Il-Sung face. This guy was a dead ringer for the original North Korean leader.

His communism was indirectly proportional to his dance skills

The Korean guys were also insanely good at doing the Shuffle from Party Rock Anthem. They were covering yards and yards of the dance floor shuffling to every song. It was cool, but then got kind of weird watching these guys come dangerously close to blowing out their knees every few steps. 

The DJ was playing some weird mixes too. Shot Through the Heart, Bette Davis Eyes, Do Wah Diddy, he was going nuts. My friend James and I would not stop laughing. More women came in after about 20 minutes and immediately flocked to the stripper poles. One of them had one of the worst stuffed bras I have ever seen in my life. I've seen guys doing camp drag shows with a more convincing bust than this girl. It was asymmetrical and full of sharp angles. It was pretty funny. Mr. Kim would not leave the girls on the poles alone. 

Then the DJ put up a very strange graphic on the big screens: Swastikas. Lots of them. Just a ton of swastikas . And not the Hindu kind, these were Nazi style; black in a white circle on a red background. I guess the connotations in Korea are different than in the US. We stayed at this club until about 1:30 and then leave for another club. 

The next club we went to was called NB, which stood for Noise Basement. Which was the single best title for this club. We walk downstairs... and then down another flight of stairs. The place we walk into is already looking pretty damp from sweat and spilled drinks. We walk through this neon lit mirror tunnel into the main club area. If you've seen the original Total Recall, think of the whorehouse on Mars where the three boobed lady is. Metal construction with a downstairs area and a catwalk second floor around the dance floor. (If you don't get the reference, watch the movie). It was  This club was packed. And smokier than any movie made in the 1950s. I mean not only was everybody smoking, but they had smoke machines everywhere. And everybody was chain smoking. The laser show looked pretty cool with all the smoke though.

The dancing scene was a lot like a bar mitzvah; lots of dudes jumping around to hip-hop music while girls danced in packs and wanted nothing to do with the guys unless they had a boyfriend. The ratio here was also terrible, 5:1 guys girls. But the music was great. Lots of classic hip-hop which the crowd loved. Naughty by Nature, 2 Live Crew, Ice Cube, some really 90s and 80s hits.

 I was also one of 3 white guys in the club that night. It was myself, my friend James and this one other guy who blatantly came to the club with a prostitute. This girl's dress was about two centimeters from blatantly exposing her vagina and the top of her fishnet stockings. She was also the only girl in the club Jersey Turnpiking, so I filled in the blanks pretty easily. It was pretty awkward watching them dance, but then again, so were some of the characters we met at this club.

The first one was a 40 year old guy. I was at the bar at the club when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see an Asian man with a salt-and-pepper ponytail who then asks me, "What are you drinking?" I looked at him with a confused expression and he responds by throwing 350,000 KRW onto the bar and exclaiming "I'm buying!" Amid the cash were plastic baggies full of fishing lures. I am not making this up. He then proceeded to ask for Jameson, an alcohol the bar clearly did not have. He then sat at the bar staring off into space for the next 45 minutes. 

The next character was someone I could only communicate with by pointing and hand gestures. He was wearing a green army hat and had a pretty bitching mullet. He then proceeded to tell me to "Leave". That was the only english word he knew. When I replied with the Korean word for no, he laughed, patted my shoulder, and began to point at women and then at me. He pointed at women, gave me the thumbs up, then tapped them on the back and pointed at me like I had done it. The problem with this was not only that I couldn't, nor can I speak Korean, but he was walking about 20 feet to the girls and tapping them. It was clear that I had not touched them, so they all looked very confused. He then came back and started pointing at girls and saying yes in Korean. I assumed this meant he thought they were cute, and I wasn't going to disagree; they were very cute. He then saw the hooker dancing and we both replied with no and shared a good laugh. 

The clothing at the club can only be described as a bizarre post-modern blend of under and over dress. The first outfit to catch my eye was that of a stout Asian man. He looked a lot like Tito from Rocket Power; heavy set and dark skinned. He had a haircut and glasses like Poindexter from Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah, I'm not making that up. His hair was orange and the frames of his glasses were about a half inch thick and looked like they were drawn on with a chisel tip marker, one of the big ones with the metal body because plastic just isn't gonna cut it against that ink. His outfit was the kicker though. It was a schoolboy outfit with the shorts with the 8" inseam, a Hawaiian shirt with a tie, and knee high socks and loafers. Now imagine this in a club blasting hip-hop with strobes everywhere. Just imagine these three images combined. 

It's beautiful

 The next outfit I noticed was the guy in the 5XL FUBU sweatshirt that went down past his knees. Next was the girl wearing a shirt that said "Collage" on it. I assume it is a poor translation of the "College" sweatshirt that Belushi wore in Animal House. The rest of the outfits came in differing degrees of formality, some girls wore blazers and high waist jeans, others wore short tight dresses. There were  a few guys in suits and others in jeans and Marty McFly style vests. You see the full gambit of Korean fashion in a club from 2-5:30AM.

5:30 is when the trains started running again, so my friend and I finally boarded the first train of the morning. It was full of businessmen and college kids who reeked of cigarettes and the club. The looks were clearly noticeable, but it just seemed like another Friday morning on the Korean Metro.

Itaewon's the next club neighborhood to hit in Seoul, I just don't really feel like coming back to my dorm just in time for the sun to rise any time in my future.